Dear friend,
When I'd been married for several years, so had you.
My husband and I met, saw tremendous potential for growth and love, good character and attraction and made a firm commitment to each other.
We began building our lives together. We worked, and it wasn't always easy, at learning to communicate, work through our problems, and get to know each other.
We now have something strong, solid and immobile.
Your "marriage" was not a marriage at all. It was a game.
You committed, but only as much as was mutually beneficial. As long as you both enjoyed, you could vacation together, visit family together, join each other's friends. You dated, those years. And came to care for each other, I think, similarly to the way we did. You did care or it wouldn't have been so hard in the end.
But when issues arise, we know how to move past them. If they were big enough to impact us long term, we would have arranged for a professional. I would talk, he would talk and we would learn the language we need to patch up the weak corner and keep building.
I truly think you could have had the same thing. You two are compatible--but not committed. It's sad, but I truly think that's what broke you up.
Not the issues.
Lack of commitment, to any goal, is a terrible thing.
Did you have goals together?
Perhaps not.
When I'd been married for several years, so had you.
My husband and I met, saw tremendous potential for growth and love, good character and attraction and made a firm commitment to each other.
We began building our lives together. We worked, and it wasn't always easy, at learning to communicate, work through our problems, and get to know each other.
We now have something strong, solid and immobile.
Your "marriage" was not a marriage at all. It was a game.
You committed, but only as much as was mutually beneficial. As long as you both enjoyed, you could vacation together, visit family together, join each other's friends. You dated, those years. And came to care for each other, I think, similarly to the way we did. You did care or it wouldn't have been so hard in the end.
But when issues arise, we know how to move past them. If they were big enough to impact us long term, we would have arranged for a professional. I would talk, he would talk and we would learn the language we need to patch up the weak corner and keep building.
I truly think you could have had the same thing. You two are compatible--but not committed. It's sad, but I truly think that's what broke you up.
Not the issues.
Lack of commitment, to any goal, is a terrible thing.
Did you have goals together?
Perhaps not.